BDSM is good for Your Libido and Mental Health as well.

Most of us have demons and neuroses, swallowed frustrations and some of us act on them more than others and at different points in our lives. For a minority, BDSM may be a way those are expressed – as vanilla sex is for many others. But most of us lack the self-awareness necessary to pick apart the vagaries of our psychological motives and sexual peccadilloes. If you and your partner walk away from a sex act both satisfied and unscathed – or at least with no lasting emotional or physical bruises – perhaps that’s an outcome that needs no further probing.

Kink requires a wide variety of skills—and not just how to wield a flogger. Though popular depictions might paint it as all fun and games (or, rather, whips and chains), the ethical practice of kink requires forethought and self-awareness. “How do you negotiate agreements with people? How do you communicate your needs, wants, and worries to your partner?” Gray asks. “These are questions you have to ask yourself if you want to participate in kink.” Start slow and find local classes or munches (meetups, usually in restaurant settings) before venturing into the deep end.

Simply put: It’s time to extricate kink from its historical burdens of shame because, like any other sexual interest or relationship style, BDSM can be healthy or unhealthy, toxic or healing—it all depends on who’s doing it and how.